TFP Feature 3: Fifth Horseman

So, for the third TFP interview feature, I decided to interview one of the more stoic pieces in the exhibition, Deborah van der Beek's 'Fifth horseman.' But as things turned out, he did most of the interviewing, or should I say interrogating.

Fifth Horseman: Vivian! I heard you were doing the rounds.

Me: Yes Sir. I've been interviewing the works in the exhibition.

5th: And I'm next am I?

Me (cowering slightly): well, i mean, only if that's ok...

5th: Fine! FINE.

Silence...

5th: Well! Go on then, ask your questions!

Me: Right, well I was wondering, Mr. Horseman, if you have been enjoying yourself during the exhibition and what you think of it generally?

5th: It has been a capital endeavour, what. Capital. I've enjoyed it immensely.

Me: So who do you think will win the prize?

5th: That's entirely unclear at this point, what, of course. Entirely unclear. Much like you, Vivian my boy. What on earth is your point?

Me: My point? Err..well, sir, I'm the mascot and promoter for the show.

5th: Mascot, eh! In my day we didn't need mascots to promote things. Ridiculous.

Me: Well... I wouldn't go so far as to say...

5th: And what does a promoter do exactly?

Me: Oh, well, I pose for photos and have a blog..

5th: A BOG??!!!

Me: No, a blog, it's a kind of online, well.. never mind.

5th: And what do you think you'll do once the prize is over? Eh?

Me: Oh, well, I suspect I'll go on to other promoting jobs, at least I hope so...

5th: Not clear about that either, I see.

Me (starting to get upset): Well, sir, I mean...

5th: No, entirely pointless, that is what you are Vivian. Just roaming about the gallery, bothering us esteemed works of art with your endless dithering and twittering and interviewing...

Me (starting to well up): I wouldn't say that... I serve an important role... I greet people when they arrive... I'm a familiar face...

5th: Nonsense! Pointless- that's what you are!

Me (with a single tear, rolling down my wooden cheek): Mr. 5th, I think this interview is over now. I think I need to get back to work and maybe have a sit down.

Later Nights

So it's bad enough that I am working flat out day after day, weekends and most evenings, now I have to take time out of my night life to work on top of it all?

It's a sad story, but a true one I'm afraid.

On Friday's I will no longer be found galavanting around London's darker and more intimate bars and clubs with my chorus of inanimate and exciting friends (see post 5th of August ). Oh no. Instead, I will dutifully be upholding my post at the gallery, advertising, promoting and generally looking dashing.

Yes, Mall Galleries are staying open late on Fridays for the Threadneedle Figurative Prize. Until 9pm in fact. The cheek.

TFP Feature 2: Siblings in black hats

So, continuing my Threadneedle Figurative Prize Interview Feature Series (where I interview the works in the exhibition), here is the second instalment. Today, my willing victims are the two lovely ladies in Judith Barton’s ‘Siblings in black hats.’

Me: Ladies, how lovely to see you. How have you been?

Lady 1 (left, with pearls): Oh, wonderful, just wonderful.

Lady 2 (right, with glasses): Fabulous, dahhling, fabulous.

Me: I see that you have both taken the precaution of bringing your own
beverages and food with you to the exhibition.

L2: Well, you know, you never can trust the food in London, I find. It can be so… industrial. All those pre-packaged sandwiches.

L1: Oh I don’t know about that, but I do think it is a wise move to bring a little pre-mixed martini with you. You never know when you.. Hic!.. might feel you need one. Hic!

Me: I see. And you've felt like you've needed one during this exhibition?

L1: Well, sweetie, you know there's just been such a festive atmosphere...

L2 (munching on cheese): Mmmgh... ghverey ghoood atmossghere.

Me: And have you been getting on well with the rest of the art works?

L2: Just swimmingly, really. Thought I did pass by Susan Wilson's 'Idaho' yesterday and I'm sure I heard the cowboy mutter something under his breath at me... I'm sure it was something rude. The cad.

L1: It wasn't rude, dear, he was just asking you for the time.

L2: Are you sure?

L1: Yes dear! He was very taken aback when you left in a huff.

L2: Oh no! Vivian, be a dear, do apologise to him for me, would you? And tell him that if he wants to come round for a martini later, he's more than welcome (winks).

Me: Ahhh.. sure. Well, ladies, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the rest of the exhibition.

Bank Holiday??

Hope everyone had a great Bank Holiday Weekend- I’m sure it must have been lovely to have time off!

I wouldn’t know, of course, as I was much too busy working.

Here you can see me outside Mall Galleries, slaving away outside (in the rain, no less!). We’ve been running some fun figurative-themed activities in honour of the Threadneedle Figurative Prize. Lots of passers-by got involved before heading into the exhibition!

TFP Feature 1: Dervishes

Over the course of the coming weeks I will be adopting a more journalistic role in this blog. The next posts will feature me interviewing some of the exhibited works in the Threadneedle Figurative Prize Exhibition to find out how they are enjoying the show and how they feel about figurative art in general.

To start with, I am speaking with Marilene Oliver's Dervishes. There are five of them and they made out of glass organza.

Me: So, Dervishes, how are you enjoying the exhibition?

Dervish 1: Yeah, it's been really great so far. We really enjoyed the opening night especially.

D2: Well, I didn't enjoy it actually.

D1 and D3 (in unison): You wouldn't!

D4: He's been having a bad week.

D3: It's nobody's fault, he just feels a bit upset because he's at the back.

D2: I know someone had to be, but why me? It's always me...

D1: Oh do shut up.

Me: Err.. right. Ok, so how do you feel to be taking part in an exhibit which is at the forefront of figurative art?

D5: It truly is incredible, we feel very honoured.

D1: Yes and to be amongst so many other great figures and representations is really brilliant.

D3: Tree Man is a riot!

D1: Yes! You should get him to tell you one of his jokes, honestly, he's hysterical...

Me: Maybe later. Any final words?

D2: Would you mind shutting the gallery door? It's a bit cold... and windy... people keep walking passed us and away we fly...

D4: It isn't that bad, really...

Me: Dervishes, thank you for your time. It has been a real... ummm... pleasure.

Party Animal

Well, quite frankly, I am all partied out!

One glamourous party is one thing... but TWO in a row is a lot even for a veteran wild child like myself.

Here I am soaking up the atmosphere at the preview party for the Threadneedle Figurative Prize Exhibition- what a night it was! They were practically queing up around the block to chat to me... I had a particularly enlightening conversation about portrait theory which I have many opinions on, having been the subject of so many.

I had a particularly difficult time deciding what to wear for the event, but finally decided on this rather dapper hat and tie combo. Hope you like it.

Now we're on the Radio!!

Tonight BBC 4's Front Row are featuring the Threadneedle Figurative Prize. Tune in and have a listen from 19.15 GMT. For more details, see Front Row's website.

It's been a long day's night...

We've all been working flat out here at the Mall Galleries to make sure that we deliver a top-notch show for the Threadneedle Figurative Prize. And although I've been doing the bulk of the work, some of my colleagues have been pulling their weight too.

Emma was up all night hand sewing the lovely T-shirts we'll be selling in our shop. Here she is carrying them through to our ironing and pressing department.

Equally, Amelia has been working to make sure that we've got the very best books available in our bookshops. She's written 10 Artist monographs in as many days- Good work Amelia!!

Now, if only we could get someone to design me a nice suit for the opening night...

I'm officially official!

So official, that I've got my very own business cards. That's right, I'm a bona fide professional now. Grab one from me next time you are in the gallery or see me out and about.

The Prize!

As the opening of the Threadneedle Figurative Prize gets closer and closer (next Wednesday- the 20th of August!!!), I am becoming increasingly nervous. There is so much going on in the gallery to prepare for it but I know that, ultimately, this is really my moment- the pressure is on.

I mean, I've had my face plastered over half of the country and that's fine. That's one thing. But actually standing there, live and in the flesh (or...erm, wood) in front of all those people.... well, that's something else entirely.

Ok, I know that quite a few people will come just to see the art, but we all know who the real star of the show is. After all, I'm going to be the one doing the meeting and greeting. I'll be the first thing everyone sees when they arrive in the gallery. I'll be the one that everyone wants to pose with for photos to show granny back at home. Could you say the same of any of the art work? I think not.

Hmmm? What's that? You still want to know about the art? Oh alright then. Fine. See underneath for the shortlisted works, click on them to see them in greater detail.

To view all the 71 selected works go to the The Threadneedle Figurative Prize Website

And here's the rest of the shortlist...

Meet Cynthia

I've been going on a bit of an ancestral journey recently, having rediscovered an old photo of my great great grandfather, Macintosh Curtain Pond. I've also stumbled upon another, more recent family photo, this time of my great aunt Cynthia. She was an aspiring Olympic short track speed skater and lives in Canada. Unfortunately she never qualified, as she didn't quite meet the minimum height requirement. She's retired now but here she is in her younger days, kitted out and warming up for one of her intense training sessions. As you’ve probably noticed, I enjoy sharing these titbits of my family history with you all- I do so hope you find it interesting to see some old images of figurative muses!

Spotted Version 2.0

Thanks to Steph who sent in this picture of her local lay figure. She says that this particular one lives in Finsbury Park and is frequently found basking in the sunshine, doing stretches.  Much too active, if you ask me... 

The lay figure factory...

... A.K.A. the offices at the Mall Galleries.

We've been busy preparing for the upcoming Threadneedle Figurative Prize by sending out lay figures to members of the press. It's funny to think my humble origins were not dissimilar to these little guys once upon a time...

Remember to send in photos if you've seen any little lay figures about!

Being part of London's community of inanimate objects just isn't what it used to be...

'What did you do this weekend?'

I had someone ask me in the office today....

I told them I had a lovely laid-back weekend, spent browsing through a few of London's fine farmer's markets, picking up a few delectable delicacies and eyeing up yummy mummies...

If only my colleagues knew...

The truth is I spent most of the weekend recovering from one of my usual nights out painting the town red with Eros, the statue in Piccadilly Circus. We tried to convince Winston Churchill in Parliament Square, but he wasn't up for it (he can be such a bore). And Gandhi in Tavistock Square, but he was much too mellowed out.  

I miss the old days... 

Thanks Lydia!

My friend Lydia, who is very clever with computers, has very kindly been giving all my old photo albums a digital make-over by transferring them onto CD.  She came across this one of my great great grandfather, Macintosh Curtain-Pond. Muse to two generations, his splendid patina is testament to a life spent flaunting himself and a bit of a Winsor & Newton habit, as you can see above.  

I'm really pleased she found it as this is the only known photo of the great man himself. The black sheep of the family, Macintosh fled his Scottish roots by following group of touring artists to Berlin in the early 1920's.  He spent the remainder of his life there, being disaffected, lounging in George Grosz's studio and rubbing his tiny shoulders with Otto Dix.  

I never knew him, but I think I must have got my wild streak and love of night life from him.  I grew up hearing stories of his adventures and notorious Scottish dancing, which he paraded all over Berlin. Here he is, striking a pose, mid-fling!